Like The Way I Do
by Pooks1979
Summary: AU/AH J/B - One shot – so a while ago I wrote a one shot called "stay" which eventually turned into a full story called Love How it Burns. This is inspired by that where Jake is the "other" man. Inspired by the three songs, "Lately" by Stevie Wonder, "Like the Way I Do" by Melissa Etheridge and "Ice Box" by Omarion.


**A/N – so a while ago I wrote a one shot called "stay" which eventually turned into a full story called Love How it Burns. Anyway, I got to thinking what if Jake was the "other" man. So between listen to three songs, "Lately" by Stevie Wonder, "Like the Way I Do" by Melissa Etheridge and "Ice Box" by Omarion and my emotional muse pulling at my heart strings, this little one shot popped out. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Warning – If the concept or content is uncomfortable to read please don't. I'm neither agreeing nor condone such behavior but sometimes you can't control where your inspiration is pooled from. **

You sit at the bar sipping on your drink hoping you will see her again. This place filled with cigarette smoke, sex and loud music was where it all began and seemingly where you saw it all come to an end.

You never imagined your life would be like this. It was true you were both tortured souls in search of meaning. You had just come out of a relationship while she was still in one. You felt the instant chemistry, that intangible pull to engage her the moment she sat next to you and ordered a drink. You stared at her as if she was the only one in the room that could catch your eye and strangely, just the sight of her made you forget why you were even there in the first place.

You weren't looking for love and you weren't drowning your sorrows in the countless shots of Grey Goose the bartender provided. No, you were merely just trying to come to terms with your new found path.

It was hard living a life alone especially when you never knew what it was like to be that way. It was your nature to love and give all of yourself to your partner and yet all of you was never enough. You wasted many years trying to repair something that was broken from the very start. It wasn't in you to give up without a fight and even after years of countless I'm sorry's and I will never do it again's, you still couldn't make things work.

You found yourself downing far more than you could count by the time she walked in. You rubbed your eyes several times because her beauty nearly knocked you off your stool. Your heart began to throb as the fragrance of her Red Door perfume ignited your senses. The scent of her, the way her dress hugged in all the right places as she sat on the stool beside you to the way her lips moved in just a way that made you want to reach over and take them captive made you desire her from the very start.

You both sat in silence for a while stealing the occasional glance but never engaging in any form of conversation. As the night rolled by, you watched as she agreed to dance with every man that asked silently hoping that maybe just once you would gather the nerve to ask for one yourself. The nerve never did rise in you but you were more than pleased that even though you never asked her to dance, she always managed to return to the same seat beside you each time.

When the heat of the final shot burned down your throat you decided to speak, not saying much but just enough to gather her attention. She took notice of your advances and smiled as her lips wrapped around her fourth martini and consumed it painfully slow. You had never wanted to be an inanimate object as much as you wanted to be that glass, the way her lips squeezed the rim as the liquor filled her mouth was more arousing than anything you had ever known before.

You engaged in meaningless conversation at first, exchanging first names, occupations and hobbies. You found the whole exchange rather pointless since all you could think about was whether she found you attractive or not. You had heard from various sources that you were soft on the eyes, your rustic skin smooth and firm, your muscular body was well defined and you stood over six feet tall which was quite notable since your siblings were all much shorter than you. You wondered if looks mattered to her or was it desperation that attracted the both of you at that moment.

Before you could engage in yet another meaningless conversation she had you by the tie, dragging you clear across the dance floor until she found a vacant spot amongst the masses. You fought your body's urge to claim here right there as she rubbed her tight ass against you and rotated her hips. Your mind was lost in all the ways you could take her; show her you were worth more than just your good looks and sweet talk.

Your hands rested on her hips as she swayed to the music, the heat of her exposed skin burning you like never before, your heart racing at an exponential rate as her arms hooked around your neck and forced your lips upon her sweet skin. Her scent enticed you further while her moans although heavily drowned out by the loud music could be felt deep within your soul. Her body was screaming to be claimed and although you didn't know her before tonight, you had this overwhelming need to be consumed by her.

You could sit here and blame the alcohol, her perfume, her outfit, your desperation to feel less than empty as to why you and she engaged in the hottest sex you had ever had but really when it came down to it, it was more than that, you just couldn't admit to it then.

The dancing turned into a heated exchange in the bathroom and ended up in the backseat of your Navigator. Once your skin touched hers it ignited such a passion, such a desire to be filled by everything she was, is and could be, that you couldn't help but tear at her cloths in an effort to feel more. When all was said and down and the heat of your desire steamed the windows, soaked the leather seats and left you breathless and alone, that was the moment you knew you needed more.

You watched her slip her cloths back on and exit the truck. You offered to give her a lift but she courteously declined stating she had her own way back home. It didn't bother you that you didn't know more than her first name or any of the more important details of her life. All you knew, all you wanted to know was when you would see her again.

Your mouth went dry, your limbs ached and your heart, yes that empty hole that had remained so hollow, so lifeless had finally began to beat. You knew it was ludicrous to think that one night of passion could rekindle a love you abolished from your existence long ago. You knew the possibility of you and her even engaging in anything again was slim to none but the thought, the potential made your chest rumble and your heart beat with hope.

You returned to that same venue every night and for the next six months she met you there. You rekindled that same passion each night until your heart was so filled with love you thought it might burst from within your chest and crawl behind her as she left you each night. Your relationship if that's what you would even call it was predicated on her. She decided when, if and how you met and it was by a simple call that each engagement transpired. You didn't require the cover up of the club, the car or even a hotel room because she was more than willing to make the half hour drive to your house each night she needed you.

You knew on some level you were using each other, filling the void left by past and current lovers. She was openly honest with you once this affair had continued through the year. She didn't want you to misconstrue or bring forth your own assumptions as to how this story would end. She made it clear that she did fact love you and need you but that her current situation prohibited her from leaving to be with you at the present time. You knew and understood at least that's what you told yourself when she didn't call or warm your bed. You lived and breathe by her will and to some level you felt at fault for even doing so.

You found yourself wearing the same shoes just a different color. Your mind warned you, you were in too deep, that the love that continued to run in your veins, pump your heart and make it race at the sound of her voice was only going to leave you a numb, empty shell if you continued to act like this was ever going to turn into anything special.

Your thoughts of rejection, doubt and mistrust angered you. You truly believed she was the one and although circumstances prevented you from being together now, it didn't mean that the notion was completely impossible. This reminder helped you sleep most nights but it was when the scent of her on your sheets teased you nose or your groin burned with a need to feel her, did you start to realize that what you had wasn't enough.

You decided one night after all your physical needs were met that maybe you would touch on the fact that it had been over a year that you and she were together. You were interested to see where she saw the both of you headed, if at all. When she turned onto her side, her beautiful soft skin leaning against your four-arm as you veered down to meet her eyes, you felt your heart clench. The tightness was so strong that the air you breathed was lodged in your throat like a chicken bone and it almost felt like your body was forcing you to keep your inner most feelings to yourself.

You noticed the distress in her eyes almost like she saw your pain and felt it just as intensely. Her hand came upon your face; her lips parted and upon your ears fell the truth even if you were almost desperate not to hear it.

"I know you feel it Jake. I know you feel the pain each time I leave, each time you can't feel or touch me. I know it hurts you to know I fall asleep beside him and offer him the forever you are entitled too."

A soft sigh exists her lips as she continues "I love you Jake and I know those three words are used so casually these days and I know they don't hold a single shred of the meaning they should but I do love you, mind body and soul. You are my forever, my happily ever after, my everything and I promise soon, we will be together. Please just give me a little more time."

You loved her just as much as she loved you however you had to question how much longer you were required to wait. Why did he receive the fruits of your labor and you receive the countless empty nights? You knew the answers and yet they brought you no comfort. You knew this affair had last longer than you ever thought possible but then again, you never thought you would find your soul mate in another man's wife.

To many you were nothing more than a cheap fling, a lover and an adulterer but as harsh as those connotations were, it didn't stop you from feeling what you had, knowing what you knew and pleading for what you needed to survive. She had become more than your obsession, more than just countless one night stands and more than just your lover. To you, she was the person you were met to meet all your life. It wasn't your fault that fate decided to have you meet under these pretenses but you would be damned if you would give into anyone else's observations or assumption of you because they couldn't understand.

You couldn't deny what you felt and you refused to. You reminded yourself how cold and empty the world was without her and the nights you spent wondering if she was feeling the same. You wanted her to be yours so bad it hurt and to deny such unrelenting love, devotion and lust would be suicide.

You consoled and reminded her that night that she was it. That no matter what happened or how long it took, you would wait for her just as long as she promised she would eventually be yours. There was no indication then that things would spiral out of control or that you would never see her again. Your affections and love were again reciprocated throughout the night until you woke up, again to the coldness of the sheets beside you.

You had grown accustom to the feeling of emptiness and longing when she was gone but you always found comfort in knowing that by sun down, she would be back in her rightful place by your side. However that night she didn't come nor did she call. Your gut instinct told you something was wrong. The way your stomach churned and your chest tightened spoke volumes to the countless thoughts of what this could mean.

You paced the floor that night and countless ones after. You couldn't understand why she was doing this, if in fact she was doing this or if for some reason something had happened to cause her not to call. The possibilities were endless and excruciating. You found no relief in the fits of fury you imposed on your furniture, walls and body. The painful throbbing of your cut and bruised knuckles, foot and leg were nothing compared to the ach of your heart breaking into pieces over the realization that you allowed yourself to be hurt like this again.

You thought she was different. You thought that although the circumstances weren't ideal it would work. You had never felt this way before, this connection, this powerful love and desire to be everything and anything she needed you to be.

She was your center and in some ways your sanity. When she was with you nothing else mattered. She was your love, life, sanity and reason for being. She silenced all your fears, doubts and longing. She was the answer to so many questions and the reason for so many joys. However in the absence of her, you were left with these thoughts and the more they festered, the more determined you were to find the answers.

You never did find the answers and so you resorted back to the same routine you had before her. You washed away her and all remnants of her into each shot you pulled, the heat and burn scorching your insides and forcing your heart to retreat into the ice from which it came. You questioned everything and even though none of what happened was your fault, you couldn't help but blame yourself. You started to think you had no balls left, no strength, no will because if you had, you would've protected yourself from this. You knew and understood the power of the flame that burned between the both of you and yet you constantly teased it, first dipping just your hand, then arm and then eventually your whole being. You knew eventually you would burn but even now, almost a month later; you would still be willing to burn, for her.

The buzz of the liquor was caressing your mind and allowing you to feel slightly calmer and less aggressive. The bartender was kind in making sure your shots stayed full while giving you that "I completely understand buddy" look as he poured the liquor in the glass.

With each shot, her voice, her smell, everything that was her, consumed you. Every word, explanation, reason, affection and gesture played in your mind like a broken record.

You could feel the angered filled tears building up in your eyes as your trembling hands could barely hold the glass to your lips. "Jake I'm married. I can understand if you don't want to be with me but I won't deny that I've been unhappy for quite sometime. I know the situation we find ourselves in isn't ideal but I love you. I've never felt this way before and I doubt I ever will again. I can try and say it wouldn't kill me if you chose not to pursue this and I know on some level I'm selfish for asking but please say you won't give up on us…."

"I never did" falls from your lips as you down your last and final shot. Drinking wasn't helping, the fact that she wasn't there wasn't helping either so there was nothing left to do but return home and pray you could sleep it off.

You left your car parked at the bar and took a cab. When you arrived home and noticed your front door was cracked open you weren't sure what to believe. You wanted to believe you were just too mindless to lock it but you were always too diligent for your own good to do something that stupid.

When you pressed the door open with your palm, you nearly lost your already unbalanced footing when you saw her sitting there at your dining room table rustling with a tissue between her fingers.

You weren't sure what to make of the situation but what you felt and what you wanted to feel were two different things. You wanted to run to her, pick her up and tell her you loved her but that part of you had been stolen when she left. Right now, slightly buzzed and fueled by disgust you were angry. You wanted to know why it was ok for her to leave and never call. Why was it ok for her to just dismiss you like you meant nothing when she told you countless times before that you were everything?

You approached her slowly, dropping the house keys into the dish beside you as you passed. The clanging caused her to turn, her eyes filled with tears, her hands trembling as they held the tissue firmly while her lips quivered enough to cause your heart to stop its rhythmic beat.

You willed your emotions away and forced your heart to go cold because just one more stab to your heart and you were done. You couldn't take rejection from her the first time and you were sure the second would kill you.

You moved past her and walked towards the living room. You allowed your heavy weighted body to fall upon the couch, your head resting between your sweaty hands as you tried to decide how to approach this issue.

Your mind and body were waging war with one another. Your need, desire and longing could be satisfied with three simple words but yet you were tired of always being the one to understand, to forgive and for once it was time she either took you or left you, you were done.

The venomous words seeped from your lips before you had time to recondition them so that the blow wouldn't be catastrophic "So it's over then…you're here because it's over."

You heard the loud screech of the dining room chair scratch against the tile floor as she pushed herself away from the table and moved towards you. You extended your hand and denied her closeness because you knew even being close to her was too much to bear. "Just don't Bella. Just don't…"

Her silent sobs pricked at your resolve to stand your ground. You didn't want to hurt her but at the same time, you wanted to know how much you had to endure just to be with her. You had shown her all of you, giving all you could and even then it wasn't enough.

You knew one day she would realize that he couldn't love her like you could because if he did, none of this would have happened. You started to wonder if it was even worth it. Your father always said where you meet someone is always where you will find them. Where you both destined to the same fate? Would you both eventually seek comfort in others even though the love you felt for one another was undeniable?

"I know I have no right to be here, no right to ask for forgiveness but…" her voice fades for a moment as she breaths through her sniffles and continues "Jake I'm sorry I disappeared and didn't call. I wanted to… believe me but the situation got worse. He found out about us and he threatened to hurt you if I didn't agree to call it off. I'm not making excuses but…"

You turn to the side; look her in the eyes, feel the pain, hurt and longing just by the heat that rises off her body. "Tell me why Bella…tell me why you couldn't just stay with me. I don't know how many times you're told me how you love the way I love you. How you couldn't picture your world without me and then you go and do that very thing. You take my heart, rip it from my chest and leave this burning, gaping hole in its place. Do you know what its like to crave something you can't have? To love someone so strongly you would rather die from longing than never get the chance to speak to them again? I knew the deal. I knew what I got into when I continued our relationship but I never once thought you would leave. You promised you would…" your voice trails off as you turn away unable to look at her and see the pain your words might induce.

The couch shifts as she sits beside you, her hand reaching out to cup your thigh as she goes to speak. You want to shift and force her hand off but you can't. How do you deny what your heart wants, what your soul needs?

"I know what I did was wrong but we can put that past us now. I told him I didn't care, he could have everything. I would rather live my life penniless and homeless than continue my life without you. I know there is nothing I can say to make this right but I also know I can't breathe without the other piece of my heart. You are the air I breathe, the warmth my body needs to stay alive and the rhythm of my heart. No one can love me like you do and I don't want anyone but you"

The sincerity of her words were enough to cause you to cave but there was just one thing you needed to know, one thing you needed to hear before you allowed her back in.

You turned to her, took her hand into yours and whispered "If we do this, if we really do this, there are no secrets, no hiding, nothing but pure honesty and trust. I'm not stupid or naïve to believe that our life together will be pure bliss but I'm willing to take my chances with you because deep down in my soul, I can feel you. My heart tells me its you and as much as I want to hate what you've done, it isn't in me to hate what I love most. You have to promise me Bella, promise me it's just you and me. I'm done sharing, done warming the waters for other people to enjoy. I wanted you all to myself, to be my own lover and partner in life."

You watched as her lips pulled into a smile like you had just pushed the rain clouds away and brought back the sun. She leaned closer to you and asked "Can I?"

You couldn't help but smile at her submissive nature while leaning in and replying "If you promise to love me…"

"Every waking minute" she replied and within seconds, her lips are on yours.

You know to the common outsider they might look upon this relationship as a disaster in the making. They wouldn't understand the meaning of a soul mate or true life's companion because there were a very few number of people who have actually experienced or found such an individual, but you had. Every bone, muscle and fiber demanded her and no one else. You knew your struggles were far from over but at least this time, your love was good enough and you had finally found the missing pieces of your heart.


End file.
